A Face in the Crowd: Why I left Facebook
So, a bunch of people are asking why I left Facebook behind. Here is a bit of why, at least the part I’m willing to shout on the internets.
I’m tired of censoring myself in a manner that is socially acceptable for shouting on the internet. I am tired of not sharing some parts of myself with my good friends because of how it comes across in the facebook format. Some thoughts just don’t fit in easy to digest posts; in fact, most of mine don’t. I have a lot to say about a lot of things, and facebook will never be the place for me to do so.
This shit is addicting; I find myself checking several times a day. I want social interactions. I go to this site where I get a shallow facsimile of social interactions, a placebo that doesn’t really do the job. And because it is my go-to place for socialization, I miss out on the true opportunities: sending an email, calling someone, or posting some food for thought on a blog, or heaven forbid going out and meeting new people.
I believe that Facebook makes people into passive friends, not active ones. I’m as guilty as the next person. Why contact someone so I can hear about what I already know because of facebook posts? Sure, I am able to keep up on the sometimes extremely mundane events in people’s lives across the globe, but I don’t interact with them, not really. And the back and forth I do have is mostly snarky quips and filtered for general consumption (see above). I think this has had the effect of weakening my friendships, not strengthening them. I want to remedy that.
Spam. Impersonal information overload spam. Events I’ll never go to, videos I’ll never watch, articles I’ll never read, memes I’ll never care about. And each of these leads to an indifference for the things going on in the lives of the people I know, an indifference I’d prefer not to have; Its not necessary, not warranted. And it is created, I believe, by the impersonal nature of facebook. Ironically, because statements on facebook are for everyone, they are for no one.
There are also people I am “friends” with on this thing that I am, in fact, not friends with. There is something anxiety provoking about removing these people; maybe they are friends of friends, maybe they are old friends who I may wish to have something to do with in the future, maybe they are business associates, maybe they are individuals I’ve met once and want to get to know better., or maybe the trust issues I have developed after my ex-wife’s affair and unrepentant betrayal are clouding my judgement. The fact is, while there may be practical reasons to not “unfriend” someone, I don’t necessarily want to know about their lives, and don’t necessarily want to them to know about mine, until at least a more active friendship is established (see above). However, to exclude them through the act of “unfriending” sends a false signal that I want to preclude the option of becoming acquainted or reacquainted. In this manner, facebook overly complicates what should be an organic and natural process.
I suck at internet communication. Irony font, now please.
Closing argument: I have better things to do with my time. Go out with friends. Talk to people in chat or through email. Read philosophy. Write philosophy. Go rock climbing. Go biking. Go for a walk. Call people on the phone. Go to the bar. Write code. Play cards. Go to a cafe. Create a blog. Work on my hobbies. Visit a friend just to hang out. Play a video game. Furthermore, I think that these activities are enriched by a lack of facebook; Things still happen even when no one posts something about them, and they are more richly remembered when they haven’t been broken down into a blurb a few hundred characters long.
So, yeah, I know I promised the short version. This is the short version. Condensed and packaged for mass consumption; written for an audience whose viewpoint is outside of the context of my life, the context that gives it it’s true meaning. Impersonal, not meant to offend, and, in many cases, not read because it was skipped, too long, missed in a sea of advertising from the products you’ve “liked”, and ultimately, forgotten.
So, if you have thoughts about what I’ve written here (if you’ve read this far down, congrats on having an attention span), put them in an email. I’ll likely be creating a blog where I can have a bit more freedom to offend, a bit more room for discourse, and I’ll include your thoughts there.
Thanks for caring, and consider for yourself: when it comes to your community, your needs as a social creature, is facebook a placebo, or is it giving you what you need?
